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20th. September 2009

The Invisible Toll

Back in mid August I decided to drive to Meath, a journey which I hadn’t undertaken since summer of 2008. I was a bit concerned about the Tolls ( the turn for Meath is straight after the toll plaza ) having heard so many stories over the past year and more about the issue. At various times I have thought the following:

1/ That National Toll Roads got a pay - off of €350,000 to offset future losses from abandoning tolling

2/ That National Toll Roads got a pay - off of €650,000 to offset future losses from abandoning tolling

3/ That it had been abandoned

4/ That is was now only for HGV’s

You might be thinking “yeah sure” but honestly, I hadn’t a damned clue. I therefore did what I think most reasonable people would do - I decided to ‘play it by ear’ and see what the situation was when going through the toll plaza. I did, and saw nothing different about it, except the fact that the booths were gone. Okay, that suggests to me “they’ve abandoned it”.

I was put out of my confusion a week or so later, when a letter dropped in through my letterbox. The term ‘polite but firm’ comes to mind:

Oh dear. I then decided to send some e-mails, explaining my predicament. I sent two to e-flow, two to National Toll roads ( NTR - who own eflow ) and one to the Department of Transport. I only got one reply - from NTR - which seemed to suggest that I was a/ a liar, or b/ an idiot. Of course it didn’t say that. In fact it didn’t really say anything.

All the while I was left to re-read this scary letter. It’s not very nice. Oh hell, let’s have another look:

It is, however, heartening to know that some things are important to the Government and can make them act quickly and decisively. The country is full of rapists who have been given a second chance to rape ( and many have gone on to do so ) but at the end of the day tolls are more important, it seems.

I sent them a Postal order for €6. No way was I paying €12 on the basis that I was some kind of ‘chancer’ who was ‘trying to get away with it’, because I was neither. I did get a creepy feeling though: after all, murdering someone is less serious than having a dog license at times in Ireland. I might never see the light of day again!

I eventually got a nice e-mail from eflow telling me that, as a first offender they’d let me off. I got two letters since, which I presume are jail summonses ( they have a tendency to do these things ). It’s been an eye opener to say the least. My best suggestion to NTR / eflow is simple: buy some signs! If I had any idea that a toll was going to be due I would have paid it straight away. I even have a suggestion for a sign:

Last but not least, check out the name of the company of which eflow is a subsidiary:

Maybe that should be ‘Safe Bet Ireland’?

23rd. June 2009

Road tax - the great ‘Green’ ( but not green ) rip off, and an email from a ‘Green’ ( but not green ) Transport spokesman.

I pay €170 for my road tax - every 3 months. This has gone up and up over the fat years: in one instance it actually doubled. To my disgust, I recently came across an advertisement for a new Audi 2.0 Turbo Diesel citing road tax of €156 - for the whole year! That’s less than I pay for 3 months on a 1994 1.8 litre!

How could this be? Well, here’s the reply to my protest from Ciaran Cuffe T.D., the Transport spokesman of the Ruling party’s current tampon ( sorry, coalition partners ):

“Anthony,

Your NCT doesn't measure the carbon emissions that your car is producing which are warming the Planet. Unless your car is running on electricity or a bio-fuel it is unlikely to have near zero emissions.

Of course it makes sense to keep a car on the road longer as the production of a car produces about half the greenhouse gases that the car will emmitt over its lifetime. However it would have been difficult to apply the taxes specified in the new  emission bands to older cars.

Best regards,

Ciarán”

In other words, “we’re too lazy to rate older cars, but hey, it makes us extra revenue even though it means older car drivers subsidizing newer ones to the tune of four. Have a nice day, forget we’re bad for the enviornment and con - people, and generally, screw you”

And they wonder why they got shafted by the electorate lately in the local elections? I think I might move to Kazakhstan - for the democracy aspect.

RSA ( Road Safety Authority ) - the road to bye bye

That great jobsworth bum - lounge known as the ‘Road Safety Authority’ is up a creek it would seem, and I for one am delighted. This is the duplicate organization ( quango ) set up by the Government a few years ago to create a few more overpaid civil service jobs. Recently the Chairman of the RSA ( Noel Brett ) was on the radio, sounding like an accountant who’d lost €2. Just the usual then.

So what had Brettie baby in a spin? - their advertising budget has been cut by 80%. I mean, can you believe it? No more sexist Ads. on the television maintaining that all young men are killers, to the almost total exclusion of everything else ( like killer cheapo Chinese tyres which split of their own accord ). The most laughable thing about the RSA is how they keep claiming credit for the reduction in road deaths.

I have news for you Noel: the bottom has fallen out of the economy. What usually happens in tandem? - yes, people cut out unnecessary journies! I did find it interesting that our doyen noel was doing a bit of begging via the radio. He now wants private enterprise to come on board with the RSA.

Sounds to me like an attractive proposition, albeit incredibly cynical. After all, their biased and sexist advertising these past few years has helped sustain rip - off insurance premiums for young men, courtesy of the RSA and sponsored by whom? - yes, the insurance companies.

No doubt about it, Ireland is a strange little country. Freud would have a nervous breakdown if he tried to probe it.

NCT camera shy!

I brought my 440 for the National Car Test ( ‘NCT’ ) for the second time in May. This was a ‘freebie’ test - a full one - as the tester messed up the previous one. This time I decided to get something out of the experience, so I brought along my pretty lowly camera, with the intention of using it’s fairly mediocre Video function to film my car being tested.

I even mentioned it to the guy outside in NCT overalls. His response was “Why not” with a smile. In the observation area I duly whipped out the camera and began filming. Needless to say, I was discreet about it, though making it obvious that I wasn’t filming other people’s cars at the same time. No one seemed to be put out about it at all.

When the test finished, and African staff member came in to the inspection area and started giving out to me in front of the other customers. He started off polite but firm and borderline rude, and got more animated fairly quickly. I pointed out that there were no signs to the contrary, that I had told a staff member what I wanted to do, and so on.

The response was “We don’t need signs” and “I don’t care”. Subsequently I went to the counter outside and asked him his name. The response? “What do you want my name for” and “I’m not giving you my name”. I then spotted the name ‘Fabian’ on his jersey. I’ve dealt with thousands of Africans, but have never come across one called ‘Fabian’.

This ignoramus insisted that I see the manager, before practically kicking the Manager’s door in! The manager was a nice guy ... but obviously commands little respect. Interestingly, he did point out that “some of the lads don’t like to be filmed ... I don’t know why”. Interesting indeed. I’m sure it’s not like they have undocumented foreigners working there.

Footage coming soon to volvo400tv.

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