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Updated: 21st. September 2009
It’s been all go and no go with the 480s ... the original black ( in good condition ) one. The one that actually works, to put it another way :)
The keys only made a return a couple of months ago: they had been lost for 7 - 8 months. I left them with my father ( idea being that he would start the car from time to time while I was away ) but he didn’t bother, and then found that the ‘safe place’ where he put the keys was very safe indeed, for neither of us could find them.
Needless to say, a major headache beckoned. Firstly, the Meta alarm system. Sure, I had a spare key for the car, but none at all to turn off the alarm. The alarm worked brilliantly, and messing with these things is never a good idea, period. I spent literally months searching for the keys.
The biggest fear was that the cats had knocked the keys off the formica counter top and into the ( swing ) bin underneath. The above refuse search was every bit as gross as it looks!
A huge fear was that I had left them in the door of the car itself and they had been taken. It’s something I try not to do, but it can happen. Then one evening in late July I’m eating a sandwich when my father casually announces “Um, I think I found them”. I have no idea what winning an Olympic Gold feels like, but this had to have been close!
In the meantime, back in late June I had already spent the princely sum of €264.58 on new locks for the car. In fact some could not be got at all, and had to be substituted with 440 barrels. I would have had to re-code all but the ignition lock.
My new locks from Volvo, now redundant! ( but I’m far from complaining )
The keys, having returned from an extended ‘Holiday’ courtesy of my father.
I have learned my lesson from all of this. I now practically take my keys to bed with me! Sadly I have but one remote fob, but I’m going to look into a ‘contingency plan’ regarding that. The system fitted to the car can no longer be bought ( nor can spare fobs be got for the system I have ).
It had been suggested that I get a new alarm fitted and use the spare key for the car itself but go for pot luck on the chance that someone was out there with the original key / alarm fob ( the latter of which of course would then be redundant ).
I didn’t like this idea at all: they’re so cheeky these days that the possibility of the car being entered and the alarm / immobilizer quickly disabled was one that was very likely. The damage that this would have caused would have far outweighed the price of locks. Thankfully, none of the drastic measures were necessary when the keys + fob turned up. To say that it was an education is the understatement of the century.
Praise to the God of keys! ( and alarm fobs! )
Now that I finally have the keys / fob back it is time to get the Saab out of the way and get the 480s ready for it’s test ... yes, it’s hard to believe it’s two years on since the last one ...
Updated: 23 June 2009
06th. March 2009: Robbing wheels - from myself!
Now that I had been getting into wheel restoration in earnest with the Saab, I decided to take the original 480 wheels off my 480s, which is still languishing down in Tipperary. The only reason it’s not covered in green slime like everything else is because it’s had a cover on - which either blew off in my absence, or got some ‘help’.
 While getting the wheels off, it dawned on me that I really need to do something with this car fast. You may recall that this is the one which some dumb young lad ( the one I bought it off ) sort of ‘went at it’ with a screwdriver. He basically started taking the dashboard apart, but thankfully his lack of skill presented before he got too far. Bloody fool. It lacks an ECU and needs the bits reassembled. Can’t sit doing nothing for much longer ( it - not me! )
 
Sadly one of these classic 480 wheels is bent beyond repair: it is actually more square than round. It’s a real shame. Come to think of it, it seems that nearly every set of wheels I have are really only 3: one is always either badly damaged or bent. Maybe I should forget the Volvos and instead look out for a Reliant 3-wheeler to put them on ...
White 480s overlooking the 460GLE in the sunset ... at times like this they almost look nice! :)
*** Archive 2008 ***
late July 2008 - 480 Turbo underside shock!
I bought the two white 480’s for two reasons. Firstly, they cost me less than 1,000 euro - for the two. Secondly, they rarely come on the market. Of course they were bought as parts cars, but I was lying to myself from the beginning! The secret, deep - down hope was that the Turbo could become a runner.
Looks good - but looks aren’t everything ....
Having been able to properly get under the Turbo, it doesn’t look too great. Strangely, the car had a Northern Ireland MOT until the end of 2005, which isn’t forever ago.
I was pretty disappointed as you can appreciate from the picture. It looks like the idiot I bought it off may have used it for agricultural purposes as well. Only a fool would do that to a car like the 480 - and especially a Turbo.
18th. July 2008 - Moving unmovable cars
My partially finished base was now long enough to take the cars - the only problems were the brake calipers - namely that they were seized on both of the 480’s. The Turbo 480 also had 4 flat tyres. With great difficulty I levered the thing forward of the wall it was parked against, and duly changed wheels - in the lashing rain. All went well until I lowered the car and discovered that the front calipers were right up against the inside of the rims. I now know why the term ‘Turbo wheels’ is used.
Having changed all 4 wheels for a second time ( put on the Turbo ones which were originally on it ) it was time to start moving.
I spent a whole evening in torrential rain coaxing both 480’s with nothing more than a concrete block and a long plank of wood ( for leverage ). Once I was finished, I decided to do an encore and drive the 460 GLE around too. I got finished around 5 a.m.! Thank God I live in the middle of nowhere, well away from irate neighbours!
 I quickly realised that I didn’t have enough space to ‘turn’ the cars at the corner, in order to run them from the side of my house to the back. I spent most of my time pushing them back and forth in a bid to straighten them up ...
My enduring memory from this evening of madness was cursing and wiping torrents of water off my forehead. Oh, and running for the camera ...
Not too much room for error here: yes, that is a gap, yes that is a pipe, and yes that is a footpath on the right - hand side. I never claimed to be a good builder.
09. July 2008 - Cleaning wheels
I finally got around to cleaning the wheels that came with my 480s - one of the two white parts cars. Purists would probably run for cover at the next statement, but I found a bathroom cleaning detergent concoction in a Coke bottle and used that to clean them. It worked wonders! Sadly, one of the wheels is very badly warped - coincidentally the one with a blown - out tyre ...
  
26th. April 2008: NCT passed! W00T again!
I was a little apprehensive for quite a while about taking the 480s for the NCT tests not least because the car has seen so little use these past few years. I had nothing to worry about, as it happened. After about 10 minutes, it had passed. Felt good. Deep down ‘soul good’. Any car is halfway to being a worthless heap of poo without the NCT cert., so glad I was to get it.
The drive home was fun. This guy in a little punto kept zooming away from me from every roundabout / junction. Then I’d gather speed and have to overtake him. This would be fine for a few minutes until he’d decide “I’ve had enough of this” and overtake me. Repeat about six times and you get the picture. It’s hard to know what folk get off on anymore.
Here’s to 2009!
23rd. April 2008 : 480 back! ( W00T! W00T! )
Ah yes. A lovely sunny morning. Money. Managed to resurrect the father and headed on out to Spirit Motors to be reunited with my love. I drove his ‘new’ car, a 1997 440 ... the last of them, incidentally. He’s still getting used to it and I showed him how to change gear properly on the way out. He wasn’t impressed.
The biggest problem I had was keeping to the 120 k.p.h. limit on the way back: strange thing about the 480s. You give it welly and nothing seems to be happening, then blink and you’re off like a rocket! Oh, there was another problem ... or rather two. First off, the twit in the Black Honda who ‘undertook’ me and cut back out where there was no space in the outside lane.
Second, the guy who cut in ahead of me and jammed on the brakes before filtering off the Motorway. I looked behind me ... the father was about 300 metres behind me in the 440, with nothing but fresh air inbetween. Still, this clot HAD to get ahead of me. It’s the only real downside to driving the 480 really. It’s an a**hole magnet.
22nd. April 2008 : Service!
Time to drop the 480s in for it’s 70k. service - once again ( the last 70k. was in 2004, and it’s not up to 71k. yet! ). Dropped out the car to Spirit Motors in Sandyford and proceeded to the bus stop ( I had a vain hope of getting a C-30 for the day, but hey, dreams are nice things! )
I got a sharp reminder of why I bought a car in the first place. Having waited 90 minutes and seen two buses pass with ‘Out of Service’ marked up, I thought of my last experience with buses. It was early 2000, and I was working in a Nissan garage in Dublin. On that occassion, the ‘lads’ on the buses had decided to go on strike the next day, but being prone to chronic laziness, decided not to pick anyone up the evening before. A ‘warm up’ for the next day’s strike, if you will. That evening I waited 2 hours 20 minutes.
Having spent the day aimlessly wandering, I went back to collect my 480. The bill was a bit of a shock ( 479 euro - disgraceful the way things have gone up since 2004! ) but “no problem” I thought. I had my ATM card and the machine was nearby. Well, no problem until I realised that I didn’t have the card on me. To be fair the guys know me and were going to let me off with it on a ‘drop it in’ basis.
I’d had enough though, so I said “If you don’t mind, could I pop out to collect the car in the morning?”. I think Dave the service man might have sensed that the next stage might be me crying on someone’s shoulder, so he readily agreed! Buses sure do suck. Get out of your car and take the bus? - haha, pull the other one. Car ownership: 1, Public transport: - 10.
This was to be my 480’s first full night away from home in 7 years.
Let’s be fair: after a hard morning of driving past customers, the lads need a break! This is one Volvo I’ve really grown to hate!
See also: Vlog - 440 460 SAAB
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